Brain on Butch III
I saw Butch Pam today at Food Lion. Oh, Butch Pam! When I entered the door, I didn’t see her, so I figured she’d left. But then, as I was in isle three searching for seasoning mix, I heard a voice behind me. And there she was, talking to a customer about products. Her back was facing me, and I noticed that she had her cell phone in her back pocket (which is SO gay!). I stared longer, while periodically glancing away so not look creepy, until she was out of view. A few minutes later, I saw her checking customers out in line six. This time, I couldn’t help but stare. I just couldn’t shake the feeling that she’d scurry off to do something else as soon as her line emptied. But thankfully, once I finished shopping, I ended up in her line. She was wearing a light green uniform shirt that had a stain on the center of it. She was also still wearing that same, useless bra, and upon closer inspection, I’m pretty certain that she had a carton of cigarettes in her back pocket instead of a cell phone (which is even MORE gay!). Her breasts seemingly called to me. They’re just SO BIG! Just perfectly, gigantically huge.
As she was bagging my stuff, she looked me in the eyes and said with such a feminine voice, “This is the bag with the light bulbs.” I said, “OK,” trying my best not to smile profusely, and noticing, for the first time, that she has very blue eyes. I love blue eyes. The sick thing about all of this is that while standing there, I had a vision. We were on a boat together on the Chesapeake Bay. Her long hair was pulled back into a lazy, low ponytail. She was wearing shades, as was I. She was sitting down, and I was on top of her, cuddling close. And that was our future Saturday–us, together, happy.
She said, “Have a nice day,” and my very nervous voice replied faintly, “You, too.” Oh, Butch Pam, why can’t this be easier?
Song of the Day: You Send Me by Roy Ayers
Question of the Day: What should be my next move? How many times can I go to the fucking grocery store and not get what I want?